Men are Definitely from Mars

posted in: Various Musings | 0

Originally posted on May 12, 2012

Good thing we like Martians, right, ladies?

Yep, I’m still working on Innocent Bystander, now officially double the size of past Nicki books, and it’s still going strong! I really can’t wait for all of you to read it!

Anyway, last night I was writing a scene. I’m going to write this blog post very carefully, because I don’t want any spoilers to ruin it for you. Nicki and Sean are in his apartment, and Nicki finds herself appreciating what an alpha male he is. In this particular scene, he is in full-on alpha mode and Nicki can barely contain herself. I was enjoying myself, just tapping away on the keyboard, but often when I write, I question myself and my knowledge of the world, so I like to research to verify that I’m not really making up everything in the universe as I go. So, before describing Nicki as “fascinated by Sean’s alpha male display,” I wanted to look up alpha facts to be sure.

No big surprise…I was right on the money, but all the reading made me think about a blog post I’d written earlier in the year. See, one of the alpha articles I read talked about sexuality in general and how for men just the way a woman looks is the turn on. However, in human males unlike animal males, men can and do also make intellectual decisions about who they’ll be with, even though looks alone will turn a guy on. It turns out men are fairly simple creatures, though (and I definitely don’t mean that in a negative way).

Women, on the other hand, really are complicated, even when it comes to choosing a mate. At the most basic level, certainly women make the decision of if a man is a good partner in terms of what kind of children he will help her create. But women have lots more “tests” they put potential mates through, including his earning potential, his intellectual prowess, sense of humor, etc., etc., etc.

But I digress…what I found the most interesting in my reading was the differences between men and women (including what I just mentioned above). Reading about how men choose a mate first based on visuals brought me back to my blog about hard core porn (“Soft Core or Hard Core or Does it Matter?” 4/19/12). And it’s something my partner and I have talked about off and on. Men are visually stimulated, which is why they love porn.

Not so with most women. For a long time, I thought I was the only one. I don’t mind seeing an occasional porn movie, but it’s not like what I can experience in my head. It’s the written word and what I can visualize myself that does it for me. Because I experience more than just what I can see–it’s what the heroine experiences, what she (or I) feels and thinks; it’s also the smells, the tastes, and what she feels physically. I can’t get that from a porn, and porn–soft or hard–just won’t do for most of us gals.

So I read and write. And I guess I’d better get back to writing right now!

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