Dear Crabby is a weekly column featuring the loveable but cantankerous Crabby, full of relationship advice for the lovesick. Let’s read what advice she has today for our poor reader.
I play lead guitar in a girl band, and our album will be releasing very soon—so I definitely need my identity to be kept secret. Anyway, my boyfriend just dumped me, but I’m not heartbroken over it. See, there’s this guy I’ve been pining over. You might call him an “older man,” because he considers himself that way, even though there is crazy sexual chemistry between us. See, I’m seventeen and he’s twenty-one. He acts like that’s such a dealbreaker. I’m not exactly innocent, and I’d like for us to be an official couple, because there’s no denying we like each other. A lot.
The problem is he’s worried about the age gap. I tried to tell him it’s just like a senior dating a freshman. Yeah, there’s a bit of an age difference, but it’s accepted if the couple really likes each other, right? Okay, so it doesn’t happen that often, I know, but I’m not immature. In fact, my parents are letting me, along with the other girls in the band, go on tour to promote our album while we do our school on the road. If my parents trust me to be an adult, why can’t the man of my dreams? He instead tells me he wants to wait until I turn eighteen, and he gives me a variety of reasons why he wants to wait, but they’re all lame.
How do I break down his walls so he dates me now?
-Suffering at Seventeen
I don’t understand why you’re in such a hurry to become a slut. Too many girls your age want to grow up way too fast, and why? Do you really want to experience the woes of accidental pregnancy and STDs so soon? What exactly is the thrill of all that?
Your wannabe boyfriend is exactly right. What’s one year of waiting for you to mature? Depending on what’s up with this guy, you might be glad you waited. Instead, though, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he’s maybe a keeper. There are plenty of pervs out there who would have been more than happy to take you up on your offer of underage (and willing) delights. Be grateful that this young man has chosen to protect your honor (and whatever else might still be intact, although I’m not holding my breath here) and is willing to wait for you. He sounds like this century’s version of a knight in shining armor.
Stick it out with this guy. If he says he will wait for you, you can probably bank on it. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a friendship (no texting nude pictures, young lady) and being patient. More girls should do that and stop being so damned available all the time.
Close your legs and WAIT.
Dear Crabby will address reader letters every Monday.
In the meantime, if you want to know how “Suffering at Seventeen” grappled with her intensifying feelings for the twenty-one year old guy she was crushing on, you can find out in On the Run (Vagabonds #1):