Dear Crabby is a weekly column featuring the loveable but cantankerous Crabby, full of relationship advice for the lovesick. Let’s read what advice she has this week for our poor reader.
Dear Crabby:
I’m going to simply call myself “Rock Star,” because I’m pretty famous and I really don’t need any extra attention. Unlike a lot of your readers, I’m not having any problems with my husband. He’s an amazing guy, a good friend, a wonderful man, an amazing provider, and a fantastic father. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. I feel lucky and blessed every day. We have two beautiful children and life couldn’t be better!
Well, almost. Life is wonderful, except I have a creepy stalker. I’m trying to act like it doesn’t bother me, but it does. I’m really starting to feel freaked out and I find myself suspecting every person I see. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m not as creeped out by strange women as I am men, although I do realize my stalker could be a woman just as easily as it could be a man. The problem is, since I and my husband are in the limelight quite a bit, we get the occasional rabid fan from time to time, but I don’t know which people can be trusted and which ones should be feared.
Should I get a bodyguard? Should I just chill out? I just know that some celebrities who have ignored their stalkers have paid for it with their lives and, especially because I have children, I don’t want to take that chance. Please help! Any advice would be appreciated!
Famous and Fearful
Dear Famous:
Oh, to have the problems of the privileged. I can’t believe how little thought you’ve given this, Ms. Rock Star. You have the money. I should think you’d have hired dozens of bodyguards by now. Oh—and call the cops. If you hadn’t thought of that already, that should be your number one priority. But you, having the dough, could even go a tad further. HIRE A DETECTIVE! Figure out who the creeper is and put a stop to it before someone gets hurt.
Dear Crabby will address reader letters every Monday.
Meanwhile, are you dying to know what happened to poor Famous and Fearful? You can find out in the novella Christmas Stalkings (Bullet #4.5).
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