I’m Touched

posted in: Various Musings | 15

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—my writing is not for everyone, just as I don’t like everything I read.  What a boring planet this would be if we all liked the same things.  That’s not a bad thing.  I even understand that some folks who like some of my books don’t like all of them, and I experienced a lot of dislike the last two weeks regarding Finger Bang.

That’s okay.  Life goes on.

One thing that I can’t just sit back and listen to, though, is reading comments from readers who seem to think they know everything.  A couple of reviewers commented that the character Kaylee was unrealistic because she had never masturbated.  Well, true to form, I got pissed and ranted on my Facebook page, because, growing up, I was very much like Kaylee.  I grew up in a strict religious household where masturbation and premarital sex were frowned upon.  So guess what?

I didn’t.

And I confessed that on my page, much to my husband’s horror.  😉  But you know what?  The outpouring of comments from readers was beyond amazing.  It turns out that I was not the only woman who’d never touched herself.  I’m not judging either way, and I hope that’s evident from the first chapter (and more) in the book.  Kaylee’s friends are open, modern women who are more than content to explore their sexuality and even talk about it.

I think (although I have no evidence for it) that the women who find it hard to believe are those who weren’t raised in a religious household where you’ve grown up believing in the very real possibility of hell and that you’ll be going there if you sin.  The problem is that masturbation, while not considered sin outright, is frowned upon because of a perceived lack of control over one’s body “temple,” and it is an unspoken rule that one will not touch oneself.  Premarital sex is a big no-no, but not quite as bad if you’re engaged.  Don’t ask.  So, yes, this environment is conducive to sexual repression and frustration big time.  I often wonder if that’s why I write what I do today.  Maybe it’s the natural outcome of being in that environment.

But I felt the need to share the evidence.  See, those people dogging me are just spouting off at the mouth, assuming knowledge they don’t have.  An article entitled “How Common is Masturbation, Really?” in Psychology Today offers evidence to my argument, stating, “Masturbation is considerably less prevalent than many people believe.”  It also mentions that younger women are less likely to engage in the practice, as well as (surprise, surprise) women from religious backgrounds.

So…I’m not changing what I write any time soon.  I suspect that if you’re on my website reading this, you might be glad to read that.

15 Responses

  1. Pauline Santoro

    Being a fan of all books Jade C. Jamison, I am disheartened to learn of the readers dislike of Finger Bang. It was a light sexy read, and you pulled it off beautifully. Reading what you went through affirms the authenticity of the book. I enjoyed it emmensely. Blaze to me was the epitome of what every girl would want in a boyfriend, kind, caring, selfless. Maybe at times people are just jaded ( no pun intended) to what real life is like. We all get caught up in our books. But you Jade keep writing what you do and don’t take anything these idiots have to say to heart. <3

    • Jade

      Thank you, Pauline. <3 You and others like you are the people I write for. 🙂

  2. Marie

    Love your books. Don’t change your ways. If a person doesn’t like your writing style, they just don’t have to read them. There are all sorts of authors with all different types of books. They can look and find the type they want to read.

  3. Michele Ficht

    I am sorry that some people are ignorant and think because they read one of your books that they are entitled to be hurtful. You cannot change these type of people, but you sure can ignore them. I know that is hard, but as an author you put yourself out there for all kinds of crazies and you have to just ignore the negativity. Otherwise, if you let them get to you, they will affect the way you tell your stories. Please don’t give anyone that kind of power. You write the stories that come from your heart and don’t worry about pleasing everyone, because that is an impossibility. You are a lot more supporters than you have negative nellies.

    • Jade

      I agree wholeheartedly, Michele, and that’s part of why I write this stuff to–to vent and let it go. I don’t read negative reviews anymore, but–unfortunately–if they’re part of a blog tour, I’m reading before I realize it! 🙂 Thank you for your support. It means a lot!

  4. Michele Ficht

    I meant you have a lot more supporters than you have negative nellies. Sorry for the typo 🙂

  5. Elizabeth

    I loved Finger Bang.. I believe it’s content should be heralded, not shunned upon. Having grown up in a very strict religious household and having been raised with so many things being a “no-no”, this book was very eye opening, and I wish I had read something like this when I was younger. Had I known of the many things that I have become educated with the hundreds of books I have read…and I don’t mean things just sexual in nature. I mean reading about strong, independent women, like in your Nicki Sosebee series… even though she may make mistakes, she is learning, and it’s all part of her evolution. I would have definitely done so many things differently. I HOPE that many many young women get to read your books and other books like you, and they learn from it. Thank YOU!

    • Jade

      <3 you, Elizabeth, and thank you. I wish I had been able to write them earlier in my life, but I too had to grow and evolve! :)

  6. Shannon R. Hodges

    Hi Jade! I grew up very much like you did so I completely got Kaylee and where she was coming from! I love your stories and after reviewing close to 100 books these last 6 months your writing is on a level all by itself! Your ability to really know your characters and find their voice is unparalleled! Keep your head up and know that they are people (like me!) who respect you and the things you write! 🙂

  7. Line F. Nielsen

    I love your books just as they are so I am so glad you won’t change 😉 Rock on Chica

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