For Shame

posted in: Various Musings | 5

You know, I hear the word bully thrown around a lot in the indie publishing world.  Usually, it seems to be an author being bullied by a group of readers.  I’m not going to pass any judgment on whether or not said authors were bullied.  I just know that I hear about it a lot.

I witnessed last week a huge nasty mess of one author (who shall remain unnamed) bullying and shaming an aspiring writer (who will also go unnamed), just because the young lady was trying to get folks to contribute to her Kickstarter campaign so she could publish her novel.  It has continued to bother me, so much so that I needed to say something about it.

First off…yes, I too was asked by the aspiring author if I could contribute to her campaign.  Secondly, no, I didn’t contribute, and those of you who caught my Facebook post earlier this month (my “confession” post) know why I am not in a financial position to help anyone right now.  That said, I’m not sure that I would contribute to her Kickstarter anyway.  It’s not that I don’t want her to succeed, and I am certainly not going to be mean and nasty and tell her to “get a job” like a lot of authors have, but succeeding in the indie world is tough.  I think you HAVE to find a way to survive on your own or fail trying.  I taught myself every indie trick I know.  It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t spend any money to publish my first book—not a dime.  The cover photo was mine and hubby designed the cover.  I formatted the book myself.  I had no f*cking clue what a blog tour even was.  To appreciate the results of a published book, I think the blood, sweat, and tears (and money, if need be) need to come from the author.

Again, I’m not passing judgment.  If she can get her Kickstarter funded, more power to her.  I wish her the best of luck.

But holy shit.  The behavior I witnessed last week coming from other authors was shameful.  SHAMEFUL.  I was pulled into a group message on Facebook (I’m not sure why) and then was given a link so I could go witness said author’s mean and VERY nasty rant at this young lady…and she managed to get a large group of other authors to join in the meanness too.  We are grown ups here, not Scut Farkis on the middle school playground.  I was ashamed of their behavior and left the conversation.  Instantly, my heart went out to this girl.  If I’d been able to contribute to her campaign—at that point—I would have.  Instead, I replied to the message she had personally sent me, explaining that I couldn’t help her right now but wishing her the best of luck.

Authors…if you don’t like something and you feel like being nasty, please instead shut the fuck up.  Grow the fuck up.  We have to live and work together in this indie world and there is no reason to be a nasty bitch.  None.  If you don’t like it, keep it to yourself.  Go ahead and tell aspiring author no.  Feel free to tell her the reason too.  Again, though, you don’t have to be nasty.  Shame on you.

What does it hurt to be nice to someone?  Not a damn thing.  Negativity, though?  It hurts the victim and it even hurts the bully, even if she doesn’t know it yet.  I’m a believer in karma.  What goes around comes around.  You want people to be nice to you?  Start by being nice yourself.  It will come back to you.

5 Responses

  1. L.A. Remenicky

    Seriously? It isn’t bad enough that authors get bullied by readers but to get bullied by other authors?

    I guess I am fortunate that I have not had to deal with any bullying and I hope I never have to – dealing with it in school was enough. I am also fortunate that I have a regular job and I can scrape together the money for editing and book covers and swag…

    Great post Jade. I hope the authors who were acting like playground bullies read this and feel ashamed.

  2. Mel G

    I’d really love to kniw who acted so awful because I’d rather not support such crap. :-p I understand why you don’t want to name names though.

    • Jade

      I thought some of telling people in private, but I don’t feel good about that, and thanks so much for understanding, Mel. I would then feel like I was picking on someone else myself. I have decided that if I see this particular author (and friends) engaging in this type of behavior again, I’m going to publicly say how I feel in the midst of all the chaos, but I’m going to hope that said nasty author was just having a bad day and won’t do it again. That’s my hope. 🙂

  3. Shelli Mullane

    Amen. Being a bully isn’t cool anytime. If you’re an author and behaved like this, then shame on you, if you’re a reader and feel the need to post horrible things then shame on you too. Be nice people. Take your anger out in some other way. Like clean your house, or beat your dirty rugs. These are people, not inanimate objects you are saying nasty things to and about. Grow the “F” up and be a kinder human being and not a nasty twat. Life is hard enough. Thanks Jade for being the voice of reason.

  4. Tracy

    It’s a shame that such things happened. Especially to an inspiring author. I just hope the bullied victim who was being hurt doesn’t stop writing because since she’s good enough to get negative attention and get bullied, she’s good enough to be an amazing author, a wonderful writer and a voice for others who were / are bullied. 🙂

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