Innocent Bystander

Posted on May 19, 2012 by Jade

It’s almost here!  Soooo close!  I’m done writing Innocent Bystander and have been in the editing/revision phase for about a week.  It should be available exclusively on Amazon sometime next week.  Some things I want to share with you:

  • I will be debuting a new cover art scheme.  This will be the third change, but I think I will stick with this final one.  I really like the heart covers, because you know the number in the series and you can identify it immediately as a Nicki book, but some people (especially my partner) have advised me that they don’t look “professional” enough.  So back to the drawing board!  If you’d like me to let you know the link when the book is available to purchase, just send me an email (my email address is inside all my books).
  • This Nicki book is over 92,000 words.  Just to give you an idea of how that compares to past Nicki books, most of them are about 40,000 words (give or take).  I wasn’t kidding when I told you this one is the biggest yet.  In fact, I’m teasing it in the description as “The longest Nicki book is also the sexiest!”  (More about “sexiest” in a moment.)  Readers have told me they often feel like the books end too soon, that they want more.  I hope this satisfies that craving, especially since you’ve had to wait longer than usual for this book.  I plan to debut the price at 99 cents, but I think I might increase it to $1.99 after a month or so.  What do you folks think about that?  Are you for or against that?
  • Sexiest…without giving too much away, let me just say Nicki has more encounters than ever before in this book.  Some of them are fun; some reveal her emotional state of mind; and I dare say one will leave you freaking out (because it involves a character you already know well) and…well, I deleted what I’d originally written in this spot, because it gives too much away!
  • Nicki plunges back into danger in this book.  She gets herself in a couple of tight spots.  Fortunately, she’s tough and you’ll get to see her maneuver through!
  • Nicki’s whole life turns upside down.  You already know that having read the teaser.  Some of it’s bad, but some of it’s good…for now, at least.  By the end of the book, she realizes she’s wound up in a great position.
  • I promise you this:  What happens in this book has been a long time coming and it has been teased over and over and over in all the Nicki books.  I cannot wait to know what you all think, but I don’t want to spoil it by talking too much.

Take care, friends!  I look forward to hearing your reactions to the latest Nicki installment!

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Men are Definitely from Mars

Posted on May 12, 2012 by Jade

Good thing we like Martians, right, ladies?

Yep, I’m still working on Innocent Bystander, now officially double the size of past Nicki books, and it’s still going strong!  I really can’t wait for all of you to read it!

Anyway, last night I was writing a scene.  I’m going to write this blog post very carefully, because I don’t want any spoilers to ruin it for you.  Nicki and Sean are in his apartment, and Nicki finds herself appreciating what an alpha male he is.  In this particular scene, he is in full-on alpha mode and Nicki can barely contain herself.  I was enjoying myself, just tapping away on the keyboard, but often when I write, I question myself and my knowledge of the world, so I like to research to verify that I’m not really making up everything in the universe as I go.  So, before describing Nicki as “fascinated by Sean’s alpha male display,” I wanted to look up alpha facts to be sure.

No big surprise…I was right on the money, but all the reading made me think about a blog post I’d written earlier in the year.  See, one of the alpha articles I read talked about sexuality in general and how for men just the way a woman looks is the turn on.  However, in human males unlike animal males, men can and do also make intellectual decisions about who they’ll be with, even though looks alone will turn a guy on.  It turns out men are fairly simple creatures, though (and I definitely don’t mean that in a negative way).

Women, on the other hand, really are complicated, even when it comes to choosing a mate.  At the most basic level, certainly women make the decision of if a man is a good partner in terms of what kind of children he will help her create.  But women have lots more “tests” they put potential mates through, including his earning potential, his intellectual prowess, sense of humor, etc., etc., etc.

But I digress…what I found the most interesting in my reading was the differences between men and women (including what I just mentioned above).  Reading about how men choose a mate first based on visuals brought me back to my blog about hard core porn (“Soft Core or Hard Core or Does it Matter?” 4/19/12).  And it’s something my partner and I have talked about off and on.  Men are visually stimulated, which is why they love porn.

Not so with most women.  For a long time, I thought I was the only one.  I don’t mind seeing an occasional porn movie, but it’s not like what I can experience in my head.  It’s the written word and what I can visualize myself that does it for me.  Because I experience more than just what I can see–it’s what the heroine experiences, what she (or I) feels and thinks; it’s also the smells, the tastes, and what she feels physically.  I can’t get that from a porn, and porn–soft or hard–just won’t do for most of us gals.

So I read and write.  And I guess I’d better get back to writing right now!

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The Romance Novel

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Jade

Last weekend I read a really great romance novel.  What made it so great was the characters.  They were well-drawn and three-dimensional, particularly the hero and heroine.  I loved the development of their relationship, the backstory, and how they finally got together, and while the first sex scene was a little tamer than I’m used to, I loved the book.  I know I loved it because even though I read it in just a few hours, I continued thinking about it (especially the characters) for hours after I finished reading it.

But I had some complaints about it, and it’s the same complaint I have for most romance novels.  The hero and heroine get together; things are hot and heavy, and they’ve clicked.  And we’re so happy!  But then “things” get in the way.  If you’ve read enough romance novels, you know what I’m talking about.  Something threatens to keep them apart.  Now, sometimes the “something” (or, should I say, some things) is believable.  Oftentimes, though, it’s not.  Or maybe it’s not that one thing is unbelievable.  It’s that there are too many things keeping them apart.  Seriously…think about your own relationships.  Would they have survived something a particular romance couple overcame?  And does that really make you root for the couple?

Sorry, my cynicism is showing, and that’s probably why I don’t write romance.

I have a related/similar complaint.  Sometimes it’s not so much that there are too many things keeping the couple apart, but rather that the obstacles are pretty incredulous.  I’ve already written here how important realism in writing is to me.  If I’m having a hard time believing what’s going on, it diminishes how much I enjoy the book.

So this particular book really had me.  I loved the characters and so I kept reading, in spite of the multiple obstacles and in spite of the unbelievability of the situation.  However, I would have loved it even more had it met my other criteria.

I don’t share these ideas in my blog to make myself seem superior to other writers, because I’m not.  I know there’s a place for romance books, and I also know there’s a definite formula there, and this particular writer had it down pat.  If she or any other writer had trampled all over the formula, readers would likely become upset with her and wouldn’t finish reading the book.  Instead, this notion just affirms what I keep saying:  I don’t write romance.

But I won’t deny I write of romantic entanglements.  And I better get back to doing that right now because I know there are quite a few of you eagerly awaiting Innocent Bystander!

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Soft Core or Hard Core or Does it Matter?

Posted on April 19, 2012 by Jade

So, last night my partner had one of his buddies over and told his friend about some of his recent writing successes.  Then he went on to tell him about my books.  I don’t like to “advertise” or brag about my writing, and most of my friends know I write but they know I also teach college classes, and unless I make a point of showing them my writing, they only know about a few things.  Truth is, while I like selling books (and, yes, I like having fans), I don’t feel the need to make a big deal out of it with people who might not care.  So I think my partner likes to brag on my behalf.  And that’s pretty sweet.  :)

But he didn’t just tell his friend I’ve published some books.  Oh, no.  He just had to  describe them.  Now, bear in mind, he hasn’t read much of my writing. He’s read some, but I don’t let him read much (although that could change in the near future).  And I don’t expect or need him to.  After all, he’s a guy and guys don’t always find the same things interesting that we women do.  But I digress.  He was describing my books based on what I’ve told him and what others have said, and he described my books as “soft core porn.”

I objected.

Then I corrected him and said, “Excuse me.  That’s erotica.”

His friend thought that was “cool,” so I guess no harm done.

But I’ve been giving it more thought since last night.  Could my books be described as soft core porn?  I pondered it some more and then finally did some research.  Here’s what Wikipedia says about soft core porn:

Softcore pornography depicts nude and semi-nude performers engaging in casual social nudity or non-graphic representations of sexual intercourse or masturbation. Softcore porn precludes explicit depictions of vaginal or anal penetration, cunnilingus, fellatio and ejaculation.

Now, granted, Wikipedia is talking about visual media (film and photography), but I think the same ideas can apply to text. Here’s the definition from The Free Dictionary:

Being less explicit than hard-core material in depicting or describing sexual activity.

Do you see the problem here?  My books are definitely not soft core, are they?  In my books, you have graphic descriptions (and depictions) of the very things soft core porn shouldn’t be engaging in. For example, I’ve described at least one instance of fellatio and several instances of cunnilingus as well as vaginal penetration.  Sure, there are a few things I haven’t written about (and maybe never will), but as I read these descriptions, I thought, “Oh, hell.  Soft core doesn’t even scratch the surface!”

I think I’m okay with that.  And I think maybe I remembered another reason why I don’t brag to everyone I know about the stuff I write.  A few of them might have heart attacks!

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Realism in Writing

Posted on March 30, 2012 by Jade

I’m furiously writing the next Nicki book (Innocent Bystander).  It is already as long as most other Nicki books, but there’s still a lot of story left.  Needless to say, readers will get more bang for their buck with this installment!

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about right now.  Instead, I wanted to talk a little about realism in writing.  Sometimes what I write takes a lot longer to compose because I’m striving for realism.  So, if I don’t know something, I’ll do research.  This week I not only did a lot of research online, but I even made some phone calls.  Yesterday, for example, I called my local driver’s license office to confirm details I’d found online (and I’m glad I did, because while the facts I found online were technically correct, there were details I needed to clarify, and websites aren’t very vocal when it comes to answering questions).

If I wanted to write something purely fantastic, this sort of detail, this type of research wouldn’t really matter.  And I’ve read stories where the writer dismisses details like those.  Sometimes it matters to me as a reader; other times, it doesn’t.  But I can tell you this much:  I strive to make the scenarios I write about as realistic as possible.  I don’t want someone to read one of my stories and think, “Oh, this is bulls***” and throw their Kindle down in disgust.  Because, let’s face it–quite a few of the scenarios I introduce push the envelope of believability, so if I were to throw all realism out the window, I suspect a good many of you would give up on me entirely.

For instance, one reader wondered why Nicki has pined over Sean for so many years.  She thought (and reasonably so, I might add) that it pushed the boundaries for Nicki to stay smitten for so long.  So I had to clarify Nicki’s point of view.  A good chunk of Lost was dedicated to that premise.  But sometimes it’s those sort of things you might be willing to overlook, as long as there’s a level of credibility with everything else.

But what if I’d completely screwed up the facts in Dead?  That was another one that had me conducting a lot of research.  I had to research toxicology, drugs, and diabetes (although I knew a little about one of these subjects, I am no expert).  I did other research too involving local politics and elections.  There was other research I did (and often do just to get little details right), but it simply drives my point home.  I feel that a story, a scenario, and/or as many details as possible should be as believable as possible, because if they aren’t, we’re not going to stick with the story.  As a reader, we might feel like the set up of the love triangle pushes the boundaries, but if the other details feel right, we’ll go along for the ride.  If the details are wrong, though, you’re going to lose us.

So…sometimes my books will take longer to publish, but I promise you, the wait is worth it.  In this instance, I’m making Nicki’s adventures as believable as possible.  And I’m doing it so you’ll enjoy the entire ride.

Oh…and…possible SPOILER ALERT:  This is not only going to be the longest Nicki book yet (and by far), it’s also going to be the sexiest!  I’ve written the first two sex scenes, and there are at least four more to come (ahem…so to speak).  So hold on tight!  I’m hoping to make the wait well worth it!

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Romance, Erotica, and “Mommy Porn”…Oh, My!

Posted on March 10, 2012 by Jade

Today, my significant other pointed me to an article he found on the New York Times website about E L James’s Fifty Shades trilogy.  I’d heard about her books, but I haven’t read them.  I’m not sure that I will, just because I’m not into BDSM (and, I’m told, the sex scenes are pretty darned graphic, not that I necessarily have a problem with graphic, mind you).

But that doesn’t matter.  What does matter is the fact that her books are selling like crazy.  According to the Times article, the trilogy has sold more than one-quarter of a million books, and that fact alone has set the internet world abuzz.  (Really.  Google it if you don’t believe me.)

Again, that’s not necessarily that exciting either, because there have been lots of authors who have sold millions of books.  No, what I find exciting is the fact that it’s maybe, just maybe, becoming acceptable to write sex.

Chances are most of you reading my blog already accept and, in fact, embrace that!  But I’ll be frank.  While I’m content with my book sales, I don’t write just to read my own stuff (although I do like to read it).  Writers write to be read.  We want people (preferably lots of them) to get caught up in the stories that previously only existed in our heads.  And I’m no different.  I long gave up the dream of being able to give up the day job to write exclusively.  But I want women to read my books, get swept away, enjoy themselves.  I want lots more readers!

No, I don’t want to just write about sex, although I know there’s a market for it.  There’s also a market for erotica, which to me means a (usually) romantic story with lots and lots of sex throughout.  Well, I’m not big into that either, because most of the erotica I’ve ever read gets to a point where the sex feels forced.  (Okay, so the hero and heroine just had sex for the fifteenth time in three days, and now all the sex is starting to sound the same.)  Sure, I love to write about sex, but that’s not all there is to it.  My heroines have so much more they want to say, so much more they want to do.

Still, I didn’t decide to blog today to get up on a soapbox.  I wanted to celebrate.  I was thinking, “If erotic stories heavily laced with sex are becoming popular with enough women to get the notice of both the media and large publishing houses, then maybe my books will get noticed more.”  And that’s my hope…that if a BDSM novel (with what I’ve heard has a fairly thin plot) can be wildly popular, maybe I can be mildly popular.  I can dream, can’t I?

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So You Say You’ve Got a Rock Star Fantasy?

Posted on February 16, 2012 by Jade

I think most normal, hot-blooded American women (and other nationalities—don’t want to exclude any of our sisterly neighbors!) have a rock star fantasy (or several).  I know I do.  You’re reading words from a woman whose rock star fantasies go way back…I had crushes on the likes of George Lynch, Nikki Sixx, Joe Perry, Bret Michaels, Glenn Tipton, Warren DiMartini, Jake E. Lee, Zakk Wylde, and Jason Newsted back in the late 80s (yes, usually guitarists do it for me).  Nowadays, I still have crushes…Sully Erna, Wayne Static, Corey Taylor, Joey Chicago, and Jerry Horton, to name a few.

And that fantasy has propelled some of my stories.  In fact, it’s one of my favorite themes, and I’ve decided to write a new rock star fantasy book each year, just for the heck of it.  The main reason is because Tangled Web is one of my best-selling books, so I know it’s one that people want to read.  I also see that Tangled Web gets linked to lots of other books with the same theme, so I know it’s a popular topic, and I want to keep my readers happy.

My only problem with the rock star fantasy is keeping it fresh and credible, and I think I’ve pushed it as far as it can go.  Bear with me here.  (Well, maybe not, but it would involve stories taking place outside of Winchester.)  Here’s what we have so far:

  • Tangled Web is the story of Katie and Johnny, old friends from Winchester.  Johnny and some friends form a band called Spawn.  They leave Winchester in the hopes of finding fame and fortune.
  • Lost (one of the Nicki Sosebee books) shows us how Nicki deals with rock stars.  Brandy’s brother Gunner has formed a band called Telepathic Nonsense.  Gunner is the only band member from Winchester.
  • MADversary (coming soon!) features Tyler and Megan.  Tyler left Winchester with his old band, and while he’s the only Winchester native in his current band, he still hails from that town.

Here’s my point.  If I want to keep things believable, Winchester needs to stop overflowing with rock stars.  Or, perhaps, the only way around that would be to convince readers that Winchester is the next Sunset Strip of the 80s or Seattle of the 90s as far as the music scene goes.  But that’s not the Winchester I’ve created, and I can’t rewrite it all now.  (Besides, in the words of Annie Wilkes in Stephen King’s Misery, if I did, that’d be a “dirty cheat.”)  I have a couple of ideas for characters you’ve already met, but if I introduce any new ones, they’re going to have to live elsewhere.

So…back to the realism angle.  I’ve become familiar with a few of the popular rock star titles out there (and there are hundreds!).  There aren’t many believable ways to pair a rock star with a nobody girl, and some of the books out there—while clever—aren’t very credible.  Why? you might ask.  Well, I think Nicki voiced it best in Lost:

Stupid. It’s every girl’s fantasy to f*** a rock star, but it’s a bad idea. That makes you a f***ing groupie slut, and Nicki was not a f***ing groupie slut. If she f***ed this guy, she’d become a statistic…she’d be one f*** in a long line of unmemorable f***s to this guy, and that was one thing she’d never wanted to be.

Seriously, now.  Don’t fight this idea.  Just give it proper consideration.  In your deepest, darkest rock star fantasies, did you ever imagine that the guy adored by millions of women would really choose you just because you’re you?  Now, yes, sure, I sometimes think stranger things have happened (and, let’s face it, fantasies aren’t always realistic), but it’s highly unlikely a rock star will settle for an average, ordinary girl.  In fact, to just meet the guy and have a chance to hold a real conversation would be stretching it.  But I’m sure there are lots of girls out there who could get laid by a rock star.  I don’t think that would be too difficult.

So…that limits me as a writer, that realism clause I have with myself.  If I can’t believe it, I won’t expect you to either.  And I realize that on many fronts I push it (I’m not kidding myself), but I want there to at least be a shred of possibility.  If the shred doesn’t exist, you won’t believe it for a second.

So here are some future plans for the coming years in terms of Jade C. Jamison rock star fantasy books.  Remember Riley in Tangled Web?  We’re going to explore his character a little more, and once he matures, he’s not such a douche.

We’ve also got to try out all the members of a rock band.  We’ve now spent time with guitarists (Johnny) and bassists (Todd in Lost) and soon you’ll be introduced to a hot vocalist (Tyler in MADversary, but—oh, goodie!—he plays guitar too.  I can hardly contain myself!), so now we’ve got to check out a drummer.  We want to give them all a chance, after all.

But, first, I must present you with MADversary.  It will be out the week of February 19, so literally right around the corner!  I hope it’s a little bit realistic, a lot hot, and a furiously fun read for you.  Please let me know what you think—I love to hear from you!

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Money, Holidays, and My Issues with Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Jade

All right, I’m going to be proactive and explain my Twitter post tonight…I tweeted the following:

You’d think the kind of books I write, I’d be into Valentine’s. I’m not. People spend $$ on roses & candy just to validate their emotions.

What I’d wanted to say, but space didn’t permit it was this:

You’d think the kind of books I write, I’d be into Valentine’s Day, but I’m not. People spend money (on roses, candy, and cards) just to validate their emotions.  I’m not into that.

We’ve already discussed that I don’t write romance, although many of my books have romantic themes.  That said, I want to clarify what I meant tonight and why I said it.

First off, I’m not the most “romantic” person.  I’m into connections and finding the right person, but it takes a lot more than candy or jewelry to make an impression on me.  What you do means more to me than what you buy.  And I realize that any time you want to show your significant other affection is a valid reason to be “romantic.” 

But I also hate how it seems that we’re manipulated to buy things to show our affection.  “Show her your love,” they tell us, by buying her diamonds, expensive chocolates, tennis bracelets, dinner at an exclusive restaurant, fine wine, roses.  Why is it that love is equated with how much money you’ve spent?  Again, it’s an outward sign (maybe) of inward feelings.  To me, a gesture is worth more than something material.

I don’t know how much I’ve conveyed that in my novels.  There’s no way to completely extricate your feelings as a writer, so I’m sure some of it has been easy for you to see as a reader.  One scene that comes to mind is in Right Now, when Nicki opens the birthday present her ex-boyfriend Jesse gave her.  I won’t say much for those of you who haven’t read it yet, but Jesse had purchased a birthday present for Nicki before they broke up.  When he handed her the gift, he said, “Nicki, I got these for you a couple of weeks ago.  Trust me.  I can’t keep them.  They’re for you.  I can’t return them, and they’re nothing I can use….Please…just take it.  No strings.”  When she opens the present, it hurts Nicki to the core.  Why?  He didn’t drop a lot of money on the gift, and it wasn’t anything traditionally romantic, but it hurt Nicki, because what Jesse did get her was something meaningful:

Jesse had put a lot of thought into her gift.  He knew Korn was her favorite band, but he’d bought a shirt he wanted to see her in, something that would bare her midriff.  And the earrings?  Who knew why he got those?  She just knew it was a thoughtful gift, and he shouldn’t have given it to her.

I guess I’m getting back to a recurring theme…that I don’t write like a lot of other people.  Most of my protagonists will not be impressed by fancy cars, expensive suits, and thousands of dollars’ worth of jewelry if it comes from a hollow place.  Another case in point:  A slick looking lawyer propositions Nicki in One More Time.  Nicki is not impressed and when he hits on her, what does Nicki do?  She lets the guy know about Jesse’s new tattoo, the one with her name on it.  It’s in that same breath that she says she loves him.  Jesse’s body modification says and means more to Nicki than some rich guy ready to drop lots of money on her.

Bottom line:  you don’t need to spend money to prove (or validate) your feelings.

So…love me or hate me, there you go.  You might not read about candlelit dinners in my books or the protagonist being showered in monetary gifts (I know—a fantasy for many; and Randi in Worst Mother was actually fortunate enough to have a couple of romantic dinners!) or trips to faraway places, but you will read about connections, gritty emotion, and love.  Not necessarily romance, but definitely relationships.  It feels real to me, and that’s where I want to be.

On that note, happy Valentine’s Day!  And, as my gift to you, MADversary will be released this month.  I hope you feel the love!

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You’ve Got to be Kidding Me…OR…Turning Me off as a Reader

Posted on January 30, 2012 by Jade

I don’t like to be hypercritical of other writers, because I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.  However, I know that once your stuff is published, you’re a target, whether you want to be or not.  I also know that, at that point, everyone becomes a critic of your work.

The point is you can never make everyone happy.  I guess you can try, though, and there are things I do and don’t do in an effort to keep readers happy.  Well, maybe not happy, but at least not annoyed, because there are certain techniques, for lack of a better word, that I avoid because I don’t like when I read them elsewhere.  Usually, those techniques are just small things that irritate like a gnat, but once in a while…well, let’s just say sometimes I’ll read a book that drives me bonkers.

A while back, a friend of mine gave me a book to read.  For the sake of simplicity, let’s call it Historical Romance by Jane D. Author.  I love Kindle, but I still read lots of print books (can’t help it—I love ‘em).  My friend knew that.  So, she gave me this book and said, “It’s one of my favorites.  I love it, and I think you’ll like it too.”  She has good taste, and I know some of the books she’s read, so I figured I’d appreciate her suggestion.

I finally started that book today, and I can tell already it’s going to be a long, hard read.  There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with it.  I mean, the author knows how to construct a basic sentence (subject-verb-object), and even though I tend to forgive heavy reliance on adverbs (because I tend to overuse them from time to time myself), she was going overboard:  people looked at the narrator hideously, and someone else smiled at her merrily, and she told her story truthfully.  This was just on the first page, mind you, and I’m being kind.  It was worse than what I’m telling you here.  After a while, it felt like a nursery rhyme what with the cadence of the lees (-lys).

But I told myself, “Come on, Jade.  This is a book just for fun.  Relax.”  So I kept reading.

By this point, I was a couple of pages in.  Again, I don’t want to give too much away (don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings), but the book is set five hundred years in the past.  No problem.  Except for one.  I find it hard to swallow when writers project modern-day thoughts, feelings, and ideals upon characters set in another time and place.  Worse yet, this character is supposed to be royalty, and yet her tone and mindset are middle class.

I know this book has lots of fans.  Trust me—it has lots of fans.  It’s a best-selling book.  But I was having a hard time making it through the first five pages.  And now I have a dilemma.  Do I give it back to my friend unread?  I feel like I should see it through to the bitter end.  Maybe once I get through the drivel at the beginning, there’s a great story there and the writing will get better.  Maybe as I progress, I’ll understand what my friend loved so much about the book.

Here’s my biggest problem, though.  I’m often afraid that if I read something that I feel is poorly written, I worry that those things I dislike will rub off on me.  Silly, I know, but it’s a concern.  The only thing, I think, that could save me is my awareness of the potential.

But I’m also afraid I’ll start to hate the book, hate the character, and hate the writer.  And I don’t want to do that.  I figure there’s a book for everyone out there.  If we all liked the same things, what a boring place this planet would be.  So I hate being judgmental about something that quite obviously wasn’t written for me.

But…since I’m probably going to force myself to finish reading it, I just had to get it off my chest.  Guess I need to go back and read about how desperately the character is feeling.

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The Truth about Writer’s Block

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Jade

I haven’t written much fiction this week.

Damn shame that, because my characters have so much they want to say.

I’ve blamed it on the fact that I haven’t felt well this week.  I’ve had a head and chest cold that’s made me want to sleep and do as little as possible all week long.  I’ve also blamed it on the fact that spring semester classes started this week (for those of you who didn’t know, I teach college writing classes).  The whole time, though, I’ve avoided blaming what I know is the real culprit.

Fear.

Yep, folks, I don’t care what anyone else tells you; writer’s block stems from fear.  And I hate to even call my condition “writer’s block,” because somehow that gives it power, but I think it will help me to talk about it.  And since I know at least a few writers follow my blog, maybe I can help them through their blocked moments by exploring my “condition” a little.  I want to talk about causes and cures.

Dr. Jamison is in.

See, I haven’t stopped writing altogether.  I’m still doing plenty of writing and, consequently, avoiding writing my current project MADversary.  So this afternoon I did a little self-exploration to find the root cause.  And what a surprise.  It’s all based in fear.

You might be asking what I could possibly be afraid of.  After all, it’s not like I’ve never written before, and it’s not like I’ve never received a bad review.  So it can’t be that.  And I came to one realization—this is the first non-Nicki Sosebee book I’ve taken up since beginning the Nicki series.  In spite of what I’ve published (because I know it’s tempting to think I write them and then they’re immediately published after), I assure you I haven’t written anything significant since starting the Nicki Sosebee series.  And it’s been a fun ride, and I’ve enjoyed the momentum.  What I have been loving about Nicki is that she is so many things I am not, and exploring her world has been an adventure for me.

The protagonist of MADversary, a young woman named Megan Walker, is a little more subdued than Nicki, and it’s a little harder writing her story.  But that’s still not where the fear is stemming from, I realized as I continued digging deeper.

I’m stuck writing the first sex scene.

There.  I’ve said it.  I feel better now.

So, again, you might be wondering, “What the hell?”  I’ve written a lot of sex scenes, so it’s not like I’m afraid to go there.  But I finally realized it:  I’m afraid that they’ll all start to seem the same.  And, again, I also think that fear is exacerbated by writing the Nicki series, because I’ve tried to make it a point to have Nicki’s so-called “sexcapades” be unique and fun without pushing the believability factor too much.

So I’m approaching this case of writer’s block the same way I have all other cases I’ve ever had since writing my first novel (one you’ll probably never see, because it’s in the bottom of a trunk, double-spaced on printer paper, next to a bunch of handwritten poems and short stories).  I’m going to power through it.  The only way to beat your fears is to face them.  So I’ve figured out my fear and now I need to work through it.  So I’m doing it one paragraph at a time.

I’ve also been working on the next Nicki book, Innocent Bystander, and that writer’s block has affected it as well.  Over the last week, I’ve only written about six paragraphs between the two books.  Not good, and definitely not me!  So today I wrote six paragraphs in MADversary alone, and I plan to do more before the night is over.  Once I get over this little hurdle, I should be fine, but I’ve got to force myself to work through it.  That’s what I tell my students, and that advice is good enough for me as well.  So, ta-ta!  I’m going to go force myself to write another six paragraphs…and then another and another and another…

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