Dear Crabby: Biting My Fingernails!

posted in: Various Musings | 0

Dear Crabby is a weekly column featuring the loveable but cantankerous Crabby, full of relationship advice for the lovesick. Let’s read what advice she has this week for our poor reader.

Dear Crabby:

My name is Jessica, and I’m not proud of everything I’ve done in my life. Let’s just say I didn’t come from the best family life, but I am trying to make the best of things. I’m currently in grad school working on my master’s degree.

Money is always tight. Recently, I needed more money than I could come up with for a car repair. I tried to think of every way around the issue that I could, and I gave up…but then the universe seemed to dump a solution on me that was tough to avoid. I work part-time as a bartender, and this rude woman goaded me into actually considering earning a large amount of money from her in exchange for tempting her husband into cheating. After much back-and-forth, I actually agreed to it. Stupid, I know, but it’s something I can’t take back now.

Anyway, the fated night came and it was hard and I was ready to give up, but her husband did cheat on her with me—and it was in that process that we discovered we were soulmates. I have never connected with someone on that level.

So now? Now we’re together—except now I’m starting to believe that old saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” He hasn’t actually said or done anything to make me doubt—it’s a feeling, a strong feeling? What do I do?

— Biting My Fingernails


Dear Biting:

I don’t even know where to begin. Of all the irresponsible, unethical, lowest things anyone could do. I certainly hope the couple you homewrecked didn’t have children (I notice you avoided telling me that). I’m going to hope, for my peace of mind, that they didn’t.

So now you’re stuck with this cheating loser, and you want me to offer you some kind of reassurance that this leopard will change his spots? Honey, forgive the crass pun, but you made your bed, and now you must lie in it. I can’t tell you if he’s cheating or not, but maybe you had better have a good, long conversation with him and—if you can’t or if you still feel unsure—maybe you should leave and think twice before doing something stupid like this again. You say you’re smart enough to get a master’s degree—so act like it.

Dear Crabby will address reader letters every Monday.

If you want to know how our fingernail biting friend’s relationship fared, you can find out in Be Careful What You Wish For.


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